Look. The brutal fact is that sometimes we get so pissed off, overwhelmed, jealous, hurt, scared — the whole seven bloody sins bullcrap — that whatever we’re feeling just takes over.

And shoves us into obedience.

Wipe the floor with him.
Say some bloody thing.
Fix it.
Get an answer.
Do something. NOW.

Or we go the other way.

Swallow it.
Shut down.
Say nothing.
Pretend we’ve got our shit together.

And somewhere in there …

What the hell do I actually do with what I’m feeling?

 

WHO’S IT FOR?

This course is for you if your feelings sometimes take over and you:

• react before you’ve had time to think
• swallow what you feel, shut down or pretend you’re fine
• feel like you have to do something NOW
• get stuck trying to work out what the hell is actually going on
• wish you had a little more room to decide what you want to do

You don’t need to know anything about psychology.

And you certainly don’t need to think there’s something wrong with you.

You’re a human being. You have feelings. Sometimes they’re bloody loud.

 

WHAT’S THE WORK?

Let’s start with what it’s not.

• An AA meeting where you state your name, your problem and get to tell your story.
• Crying, wailing and gnashing of teeth — unless, of course, that’s what you need or want.
• Worksheets.
• Homework.

But …

If you’re serious about creating more room between what you feel and what you do, you probably have to bloody practise it.

 

WHAT’S INSIDE?

Six short written sections.

They look deceptively simple.

That’s deliberate.

Behind them is a lot of research, sorting through what matters and what doesn’t, and translating the useful stuff into practical information that’s easy to understand and actually use.

That’s my job.

You shouldn’t have to wade through all the complicated stuff.

You just need what’s worth knowing.

 

YOU WANT THE RESEARCH ANYWAY?

FEEL → SPACE → SEE → CHOOSE is my own psychoeducational synthesis.

It draws on established research in emotion regulation — particularly emotional acceptance and affect labelling, cognitive appraisal, emotion-regulation choice and regulatory flexibility.

That research sits underneath what we’re doing here: noticing what you feel without having to get rid of it, making enough room not to be pushed into immediate action, looking at what actually happened and what you may be making it mean, and recognising that you have choices about what you do next.

The four-step framework is mine. The research it draws on isn’t.

WANT TO KNOW MORE?

If you want to check the research for yourself, these are some of the key sources underpinning the psychological processes used in the course:

Gross, J. J. (1998). The emerging field of emotion regulation: An integrative review. Review of General Psychology, 2(3), 271–299.
DOI: 10.1037/1089-2680.2.3.271

Gross, J. J. (2002). Emotion regulation: Affective, cognitive, and social consequences. Psychophysiology, 39(3), 281–291.
DOI: 10.1017/S0048577201393198

Bonanno, G. A., & Burton, C. L. (2013). Regulatory flexibility: An individual differences perspective on coping and emotion regulation. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 8(6), 591–612.
DOI: 10.1177/1745691613504116

Sheppes, G., Scheibe, S., Suri, G., & Gross, J. J. (2011). Emotion-regulation choice. Psychological Science, 22(11), 1391–1396.
DOI: 10.1177/0956797611418350

Campbell-Sills, L., Barlow, D. H., Brown, T. A., & Hofmann, S. G. (2006). Acceptability and suppression of negative emotion in anxiety and mood disorders. Emotion, 6(4), 587–595.
DOI: 10.1037/1528-3542.6.4.587

Naragon-Gainey, K., McMahon, T. P., & Chacko, T. P. (2017). The structure of common emotion regulation strategies: A meta-analytic examination. Psychological Bulletin, 143(4), 384–427.
DOI: 10.1037/bul0000093

Torre, J. B., & Lieberman, M. D. (2018). Putting feelings into words: Affect labeling as implicit emotion regulation. Emotion Review, 10(2), 116–124.
DOI: 10.1177/1754073917742706

 

HOW DO I USE THE COURSE?

The first time through, start at the beginning.

Pick one real moment from your own life when your feelings took over.

Nothing monumental required.

You’ve got plenty to choose from. 😂

Use that same moment as you work through the course.

You don’t have to do the whole thing in one sitting.

And once you know the material, you don’t have to work through it in order either.

Find the bit that fits what’s happening.

Then bloody practise it.

Because reading about creating room for choice and actually creating that room when you’re losing your shit are two different things.

 

A QUICK NOTE

This is psychoeducation, not therapy.

I’m not here to diagnose you, treat you, or give you individual advice.

I’m giving you useful information to think with and use in your own life.

And if you’re in crisis, this isn’t crisis support.

 

FEATURES

Self-paced online written course

6 short written sections

WHEN YOU NEED IT downloadable quick-reference card

Lifetime access

AUD $79